It is said that life gives us what we need, not what we want. I like it that way, because, frankly, I don’t know nearly enough to be put in charge of so great a responsibility. I’d just make a mess of things.
Letting go and letting life deliver is of course easier said than done. There’s got to be not just an openness to this notion, but also the grace to even allow that thought to enter the equation in the first place.
For reasons unclear, I’ve been blessed these past 11+ years with that recurring thought, that openness and willingness and eager to explore, to keep the train moving forward (that’s actually a good metaphor, the coal stoker granted just enough of the stuff to keep some steam built up in the engine, to keep me rising another day and the quest continuing).
If we are able to surrender, we start to recognize that occasionally (probably most of the time) life grants us gifts we don’t recognize until they’re in the rear view mirror waving goodbye. That was precisely what happened a decade ago, when my teacher at the time introduced me to a wonderful couple living high in the New Mexico mountains. We visited their home for a sweat lodge – my first – and like so many of the experiences of that time, it was wonderful.
But that’s the thing: we get caught up in the experiences, in all that is happening ‘to me,’ and overlook the real gift of the moment. In that case, it was the couple, their grace and charm and generosity of spirit.
Like me, they’d had their share of challenges and successes. But unlike so many of us, they seemed almost dedicated to helping me find the peace for which I so desperately yearned. It was not until I departed for home that the true miracle of that visit became apparent. Which is why, a year later, when I was invited for an extended visit, I jumped at the opportunity. I was eager to appreciate and learn from and spend time with them.
Again, they were generous with their home and their time. There was laughter and meditation and good meals and long, and quiet walks across mountain meadows and beneath towering ponderosa pine (punctuated by my gasps for oxygen at 9,000-plus feet).
It was during that visit that I undertook an authentic Lakota-style Vision Quest, was granted a glimpse into the sacredness of the enterprise, taught the importance of properly committing so that more of that grace might enter the picture.
The quest was marvelous, of course, and through vision and dream what was needed was granted.
But more important, I saw too that the experience was not merely made possible by the presence and efforts of these two wonderful beings, but enriched by it. And today, looking back, that sense of connectedness only intensifies (where most relationships wither and dissipate).
Today one of those two celebrates a birthday and this blog is my acknowledgment of gratitude for your presence in my life, for the gift of your being.