Just finished reading all about the Nxivm sex slave trial. Before that, we were captivated by the Netflix series on sexual abuse (and perhaps murder) involving the Baltimore diocese of the Catholic church. Prior to that was the equally compelling documentary series on the Oshi cult in Oregon.
What all of the folks involved have in common is a desperate search for purpose, meaning, a higher calling, or at the very least hope that something better awaits on the ‘other side.’ And it’s popular to look down one’s nose at them, isn’t it? Saps, suckers, simpletons.
Careful. Chances are good you’re hip-deep in a few cults of your own. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee it. But more on that in a moment.
Scan the comments from an earlier story on Nxivm and you’ll see lots of criticisms of the women involved – women who allowed themselves to be branded (literally) and surrendered compromising images of themselves for blackmail purposes (should it be needed). These women are widely derided as ignorant, insecure, or just plain stupid.
I know something about this. Years ago I caught some flack from family and friends when I briefly fell under the spell of a New Mexico ‘spiritual teacher’ I’d met weeks earlier during some shaman-led ayahuasca ceremonies in Peru.
This erstwhile guru helped me overcome a variety of serious illnesses that for years had flummoxed my physicians; he fed and nurtured me; demonstrated I was worth the love of myself and others simply for being me; and he never asked for a thing in return other than to take care of myself.
Over the ensuing months and years, I watched from afar as his moods darkened and it became clear he suffered from many of the same inner torments as the rest of us.
Of course he did.
At the end of the day, you and I and every person we know is nothing more than an inner narrative, bits and pieces of which we regularly borrow to broadcast to the world as ‘me.’ (Usually only the good parts.) Another way to consider that inner narrative: the cult of ME.
The principle goal of this cult – as with all cults – is the happiness of its members. We don’t think of ourselves as entering a cult – few if any advertise themselves that way (or likely even think of themselves that way).
Nobody wants to imagine themselves as brainwashed. But, again, isn’t that precisely what each of us is, from childhood on? OK, maybe not brainwashed, but certainly programmed. After all, what else were ‘you’ before all that programming was done?
So, these programmed entities known as me and you trundle into adult life and find that some of our inner narratives are happy and some are unhappy.
The happy stories usually sound something like this: new job, new mate, shiny vacation, health, wealth, and so on.
The unhappy stories go something like this: unemployed, broke, lonely, ill, etc.
Two sides of the same coin otherwise known as the human being.
Those living unhappy stories try desperately to right the ship, and in some instances they find themselves in communes or cults or religions or the home of a New Mexico spiritual teacher. And while we may be tempted to laugh at those suckers, we do so when we’re not busy endlessly commuting to deadening jobs, clinging to tired relationships, propping up rotting cultures.
The simple truth is that every human being is engaged in a never-ending pursuit of a happy inner narrative. Sustaining the cult of me is a demanding, draining job and rare is the one who sees through the cult before he/she realizes they’re trapped in it.
So what’s the alternative?
In countless ways across the ages, the great teachers have told us we have one of two choices.
Option one is to blindly follow what we were taught as children – the story of ‘me’ – and to remain true to that belief system until our inevitable end. That inner narrative, the idea of the body as me, the outside world, all of what we were taught is akin to scripture, not to be questioned.
Option two requires us to shed all that skin – dump everything we’ve been taught (or at least hold it up to the light for a good look) – and simply observe what’s going on. We are told to take nothing for granted, including the thing we call ‘my body’ and the endless stream of thoughts we call ‘my thoughts.’ All of it has to be examined, observed, seen through. (Isn’t this how every cult and its leader ultimately are revealed?)
From Robert Adams:
For some strange reason a thing called an ego appears to have come into existence. And it is the ego going through all of these experiences – not you, but the ego. If only you would separate yourself from your ego and observe and watch the ego going through all these experiences, crying, laughing, having pain, having health, worrying, fretting.
Just observe the ego doing all these things.
To the extent you can observe this, to that extent will the ego become weakened. The ego does not like to observe itself. It wants to be Master and have total control. And as you begin to watch without reacting with no feelings about anything, the ego begins to dissipate. And as soon as the ego dissipates there is unalloyed happiness.
You didn’t look for the happiness, like looking for the Holy Grail. You did not have to go far away to lands overseas to find this happiness. You did not have to do certain prayers or yogic kundalini exercises to find this happiness. You merely stood back and allowed the ego to burn itself out. That is how you become free.
